December 31, 2019 at 2:38 pm (By Amba)


saw a big spike in pleasure and pain. You can’t have one without the other. I guess I’m alive, after all.


somebody gave me a great gift to go forward with. “The way you changed my life—they can’t take that away from me.”


our country is flirting with the devil’s no. 1 temptation: despair.


my new year’s resolution is: Resist despair!




  1. Alexandra Leh said,

    THIS YEAR I lost my best friend, creative collaborator, mother…all in one extraordinary woman.

    This coming year? My ex-husband just emailed my 2020 horoscope:

    “CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I’m going to speculate that sometime in
    the next six months, you will experience events that years from now
    you’ll look back on as having been the beginning of a fresh universe for
    you. What should you call this launch? I suggest you consider elegant
    terms like “Destiny Rebirth” or “Fate Renewal” rather than a cliché like
    the “Big Bang.” And how should you celebrate it? As if it were the Grand
    Opening of the rest of your long life.”

    I’m going with that (though I’m sure I can come up with a *much* better term than “Destiny Rebirth” of “Fate Renewal!”).

  2. amba12 said,

    Oh, my. ❤️ That’s one thing about feeling at peace about your caregiving to the end. The ledger is clear. You can welcome goodness for yourself, once you have the strength. That can take a while.

    (What it means that it comes from your ex I do not know and will not ask.)

    Maybe “renaissance”? Means the same thing but it’s so deliciously French.

  3. Alexandra Leh said,

    My ex-husband and I are great friends…so it means good things :)

    How about “Zanaissance?”

  4. amba12 said,

    LOVE IT.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: