If George Carlin Were God . . .

September 6, 2010 at 12:54 am (By Amba)

. . . things would make much more sense.

Life is tough . . . What do you get at the end of it?  A death.  What’s that, a bonus?  I think the life cycle is all backward.  You should die first, get it out of the way.  Then you live in an old-age home.  You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work.  You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement.  You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating — and you finish off as an orgasm.


  1. Donna B. said,

    Yes! Go out with a bang!!

  2. reader_iam said,

    Unlike most other Carlin riffs, this is one of the ones the premise of which I still strongly question (as I have so questioned it, for decades). It’s so…specific, isn’t it?–and so very narrow in its POV. I’d go so far as to say it’s deceptive in its fake universalism of experience. It’s hard for me to believe he didn’t know better. What does it mean if he did? What does it mean if he didn’t?

  3. amba12 said,

    I think he was just being funny, and resorting to the closest thing to a clichéd American everyman experience (fake-universal is well put) to make his point. (I’ll never get a gold watch before or after going to work!). He likes to take an unthought-of idea and push it to extremes To me it seems consistent with other Carlin riffs in that respect. I think comics sort of have a license to be irresponsible in this way.

  4. PatHMV said,

    He was only elaborating on George Bernard Shaw: Youth is wasted on the young.

    As I get older, I am starting to agree with that more and more. If only I knew what I knew now, but had THAT body and THAT much time in front of me…

  5. amba12 said,

    Actually, one’s 20s can be quite a miserable time.

  6. reader_iam said,

    Yes, yes, yeah, yeah, youth is wasted on the young (and all that jazz). As if age is never wasted on the old and wisdom is never wasted on the wise.

  7. amba12 said,

    Wisdom is wasted on the wise . . . how true! That’s like “If you’re so smart why aren’t you rich?” Structurally like it, I mean. “If you’re so wise, how can you be such a fool?”

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