J Is 82. [UPDATED]
From his birthday yesterday:
Axel, the "Perfect Match" (Duke Hospice volunteer)
“Wanna make something of it?”
UPDATE: In the 38 years I’ve known him, even when J was depressed or frustrated overall, I have never, ever known him to be down on his birthday. In some periods I used to dread that another birthday would only remind him of the dreams that hadn’t come true, the fruitless time fleeting. It never happened. I learned to trust that I could look forward to his birthday as a sabbath from all that. No matter what, it’s always a serene, happy, positive day for him. Not excited or egotistical or demanding; just sunny and calm. (I don’t want to wonder about his two birthdays in Russia, especially the first one, less than a month after he arrived. He climbed out of a train engine coal bin on the free side of the Iron Curtain two days before the third one, February 19, 1947.) Yesterday was no exception; Axel remarked on how “with it” and communicative he was.
That led me to wonder whether the way you feel about, and on, your birthday doesn’t say something about you — how you fundamentally feel about yourself, and life, and time. (Maybe this is nonsense; to some people birthdays are simply no big deal. I suspect it all goes back to your early family and how they felt about birthdays, and you.)
How do I feel on my birthday? I always eagerly look forward to it, but then the day itself is a letdown, an emotional blank. I can’t grasp that special whatever-it-was I was anticipating. I do kind of feel that way about my life.
Ambiance 
PatHMV said,
February 22, 2010 at 9:55 am
Happy Birthday, Jacques!
Donna B. said,
February 22, 2010 at 10:02 am
~~Happy Birthday~~
Melinda said,
February 22, 2010 at 10:29 am
Happy Birthday, J!
karen said,
February 22, 2010 at 11:42 am
J looks fabulous, amba. I don’t know how you do it– what a great pair the two of you are.
To repeat the sentiment of my above friends: ~Happy Birthday, J~ :0)
PatHMV said,
February 22, 2010 at 11:56 am
If there’s one thing that man knows how to do, it’s survive, huh? Yay for you both!
amba12 said,
February 22, 2010 at 12:04 pm
Thanks all!
At this point J has outlived almost everybody who survived what he did, and a lot of his old friends who didn’t (especially the inveterate smokers).
As he left, Axel hugged me with one arm and muttered almost to himself something like, “You’re a little hero.” I usually shake off such attributions — I see my own unheroic, often unkind and impatient behavior every day — but there was something about the affectionate way he said it, or the diminutive, that I liked.
Maxwell said,
February 22, 2010 at 1:11 pm
Nice topper!
amba12 said,
February 22, 2010 at 1:34 pm
(I’m not sure it’s what you meant but) No one wears a hat like J. He can make a 15-buck fedora from Kohl’s look like a Borsalino.
PatHMV said,
February 22, 2010 at 2:41 pm
If I had survived what he has survived, I think I’d be chipper on all my future birthdays, too. Call up death and say: “cheated you for another year, you bastard!”
Kind of calls to mind a silly old piece of joking advice I once read: “First thing in the morning, eat a live frog. That way, nothing worse will happen to you all day!”
Charlie (Colorado) said,
February 22, 2010 at 2:47 pm
Mazeltov!
amba12 said,
February 22, 2010 at 2:52 pm
Gracias!
Randy said,
February 22, 2010 at 9:21 pm
How marvelous! Congratulations to J.
karen said,
February 22, 2010 at 9:26 pm
i heard a program on NPR about Hospice that reminded me of you– one lady did. The story could have been about you– independence and a fierce dedication to a vow taken and given.
i listen to way too much of that radio– it depresses me, i think. Always serious subjects. I listen too closely, i guess.
amba12 said,
February 22, 2010 at 9:27 pm
Thanks, Randy, and Karen, and all. Much love.
Randy said,
February 22, 2010 at 9:38 pm
Karen: I haven’t been paying enough attention to the comments. I just ran across one of yours wherein you mention moving back to your house. When does that happen? No problem leasing the pasture land you were before, I hope.
Luka said,
February 24, 2010 at 7:25 pm
Happy Birthday Jacques!
If there is one day to be happy, it should be one’s birthday. I believe the idea of always giving is actually so emphasized in our world that it can be easy to forget how to love and celebrate ourselves. The birthday makes a great occasion for it.
Norma said,
February 26, 2010 at 6:05 pm
I was out of town on my last birthday (70) at a bird watching event, and told no one. It was great!
amba12 said,
February 26, 2010 at 6:20 pm
One of my sisters (I’m only allowed to say she’s younger than me) is trying to take that approach, but some of our other siblings are making it difficult.