In a former life I was a student of Poetry. And Philosophy. I later studied art at a rather well known art school. I cannot read this sort of thing without The Critique forming.
There are certain conventions that Poets are allowed to flout. It is the “Artistic License” we get when we enter that mode. However there are some conventions we *should* not flout.
Unless you plan on sticking your head in an oven, or are between the ages of 14 and 24 you do NOT refer to yourself with a lower-case I. Plath did it, and when she killed herself she killed that too. In this piece it would be reflective of what the author is trying to get across, but his habitual use of it indicates that it it part of his schtick, not just something used for effect.
The Universe doesn’t care.
Care about me.
Care about you.
Care about anything.
In the larger scope
Almost everything you,
we, I understand including
life is Pointless.
Ambiance 
William O. B'Livion said,
December 22, 2009 at 6:27 pm
In a former life I was a student of Poetry. And Philosophy. I later studied art at a rather well known art school. I cannot read this sort of thing without The Critique forming.
There are certain conventions that Poets are allowed to flout. It is the “Artistic License” we get when we enter that mode. However there are some conventions we *should* not flout.
Unless you plan on sticking your head in an oven, or are between the ages of 14 and 24 you do NOT refer to yourself with a lower-case I. Plath did it, and when she killed herself she killed that too. In this piece it would be reflective of what the author is trying to get across, but his habitual use of it indicates that it it part of his schtick, not just something used for effect.
The Universe doesn’t care.
Care about me.
Care about you.
Care about anything.
In the larger scope
Almost everything you,
we, I understand including
life is Pointless.
Welcome to Existentialism
Now go live.
(I’m home from the war, at least for now).
karen said,
December 29, 2009 at 2:50 pm
William– welcome home!!!!!
One of my favourtie poets is e.e.cummings- crazy as a bedbug, dead = total brilliance.
Same kind- mr. g.
As to critique– #1 rule, mine:
NEVER critique mr.g.
Lower case “i” denotes h.u.m.i.l.i.t.y.
End of story.