A strange 24 hours….
Starting last Friday, at around 10:40 in the morning.
Heard weird noises outside, sounding like dogs and cats going at it. Went outside to investigate. Chased inside by dogs. Re-entered fray with a baseball bat in hand. Chased back inside by two pitbulls running loose from my neighbor’s house. For the first time in quite a while I was actually physically afraid. If I hadn’t had the bat they would have mauled me something fierce, and as it was they were trying to eat the aluminum bat to get at me. (For the record, a bat is no use as an offensive weapon againt more than one pitbull. If you swing at one of them you leave yourself open to the other, or even to the target if you miss. You have to use it to poke at them and keep them from getting their teeth on you. So there, you’ve learned something new if you didn’t already know that.)
Called 911 to report the attack. Forwarded to Orange County Animal Control, given a priority ticket at 10:49 AM. (Still haven’t heard from Animal Control almost a week later, and yes we have called back several times.) The dogs kept us inside until about 1:15 PM when my neighbor finally showed up and leashed the goddamned dogs – before leaving again. The dogs have decided that OUR yard is THEIR yard. In the time between the call to Animal Control and the owner showing up next door, the dogs tore out part of the bottom of out car. The police say there is nothing than can do when dogs attack. The police are absolutely goddamned useless.
Around 11:00 PM that night, we realized there was someone parked in the driveway and that someone was knocking at the front door. (This isn’t always easy to notice when in the back of the house.) Opened the door to find an older woman outside. Eventually figured out she was a Scottish (almost as difficult to understand as someone speaking Haitian Creole, if you do NOT speak Haitian Creole), had been either driving or riding in a taxi, and was reporting that they had just dropped off someone named ‘Jay’ at the house. ‘Jay’ had told them he was coming home to visit his son. But when he got out of the van he didn’t go to the front of the house (our house), he went back along the side setting off the security lights on that side and disappeared into the backyards of the neighborhood. The driver was warning us. Very strange. I slept in the back room that night to make sure no one would attempt coming through from that direction.
And then a little before 11:00 am the next morning, the doorbell rang again. This time it was a man named Fred looking for Vince, who used to stay here. My family has owned the house since it was built in 1960, and I let him know he must be mistaken as no one by that name had ever lived here. But he was gave me the man’s full name, Dr. Vincent Polite. I told him again that he must have the wrong address and wished him well. He was very courteous, and I don’t think he was trying to pull anything, it was just a case of a misremembered address. But it was a strange cap to those 24 hours.
Maybe I’ll tell you about the time I recently almost got arrested for child abduction, but that was another travesty that I just don’t feel like recounting at this time.
Good riddance to 2013.
Obligatory Thanskgiving Post
Tomorrow marks the 20th time my wife and I have celebrated Thanksgiving since we met, and the 19th in which we’ve celebrated by staying at home. After we moved in together for college, we determined to stay home for Thanksgiving, as (a) we were planning on going home for Christmas and (b) the time spent traveling and visiting could be better spent that close to finals. It’s become our favorite holiday BECAUSE we stay home. We’ve traveled for all the others, but not this one!
The main traditions? Largely the same as everyone else’s. We eat turkey with all the trimmings. (My wife has perfected her turkey skills, and I have never eaten a better bird.) Follow the meal (which has been getting prepped since last night) with a little bit of lounging and then a marathon session (for me) of washing dishes. (No dishwashing machine in the current house, but even when we’ve had one it was never enough and much was always done by hand.) Follow that with a total collapse in front of the TV, usually to watch a disappointing football game or two. (Tomorrow’s games don’t look all that good, save that the NFL is so wild these days that you never know what you’re going to get in any game.)
Along the way we’ll imbibe our favorite wine, reflect on the things that were good from the previous year, try to avoid thinking of whatever has gone wrong, and think of friends and family. At some point, perhaps tonight, we will watch the infamous WKRP Thanksgiving episode. Friday perhaps we’ll dare some shopping, but usually we skip that nightmare. Perhaps we’ll just take our daughter to a park instead.
But the main thing is WE will be home together, with our daughter and our cats, and that is always the best of things.
All the [depressing] news that’s fit to print….
From the New York Times, a depressing story about what it is like to be long-term unemployed. This largely matches the experience that I’ve had, and the experience of those I know in this boat.
Death of a legend! [Updated]
Sam Behr died recently. He was 86. Here in Orlando he was notable for two things.
First, he had a store downtown that sold shoes. The store’s slogan was “We can fit any human!” And they had any number of improbable stories backing it up.
Second, in the 1980s he became a local media celebrity for his work on TV commercials for Allied Discount Tires, a local tire chain, run by a friend of his if I recall correctly.
Here’s a sample of Sam’s work:
Rest in Peace, Sam, and here’s hoping that in the afterlife your nuts always get hand-torqued and never fall off!
UPDATE: I added a link to the local obit above. And according to local legend (which has a grain of truth to it), the ad I embedded above only ran once. I actually saw that one on TV one summer, I’m happy to say! Sam represented a type of garrulous Southern man that has become increasingly rare, sadly.
UPDATE 2: Here’s another piece about Sam and the commercials he did – all unscripted! And here’s probably the most infamous ad he did. Remember Oral Roberts?
Ruminations on Bullying
Bullying has been much in the news lately. In particular, the case of Jonathan Martin of the Miami Dolphins has created a lot of furor.
Before getting to any other thoughts on the matter, I’d like comment on some of my own experiences with bullies, and thereby show that there are different kinds of bullies. (My examples will not be exhaustive of the different types, at least I don’t think they will be, and will be someone repetitive. So be warned!)
Of hand, I can recall dealing with six bullies during my lifetime. (I do not count my mother in this list. I’m not sure she fits, and I don’t think we have 43 years to discuss the matter.)
WARNING: Long post follows.
“[I]t’s all a matter of perspective.”
“Don’t picture it as being pulled under by a rip tide, think of it as a rising tide pulled gently into place according to the stately clockwork-like Law of Newton’s Gravity. See, it’s all much better that way. Especially if you’re heavily medicated!”
Either way, it’s still drowning.
More wisdom from the archives!
The Ambivablog archives, that is.
As part of a side discussion on Human BioDiversity, intelligence and IQ came up. Commenter wj wrote that his scores on IQ tests were always going up. Amba responded with:
Your own personal Flynn Effect!
Actually, doesn’t sound mysterious to me — sounds like you were learning how to ace IQ tests!
Lo and behold!
Has a 15-year-old explained the Flynn Effect?
UPDATE: Basically, the 15 year-old has posited that, in fact, people have been learning how to ace IQ tests. Or at least do them better. It’s interesting stuff, honest!
And since I’m already Spamming up the joint …
… while looking for something buried in archives, I may as well post a link to something else interesting.
Well, I find in interesting. Also, good to see how I’ve been wrong and right about certain things. Turns out there WAS one more meaningful national election (2010) and that Rahm wasn’t able to screw up the census as badly as I suspected. I largely stand by most of the doom and gloom related to, but not directly a part of, the link above.
Another blast from the past …
Voidacity! (Check the comments for the term, coined by Ron.)
“There won’t be any heroes in coming years.”
Written by me almost five years ago. So far I’ve been correct.
Ambiance 