Tom Sawyer-Worthy? [UPDATED: Weirder, Grosser]
Could I get someone to whitewash a fence for a look at that?
It demands a tall tale. All that happened, though, was that in the struggle to get J to lie down sideways on the bed instead of backwards across it — so I could get the sling for the Hoyer lift under him — he slid off onto the carpet, and then (what the hell) in the struggle to get him properly positioned on the floor, instead, I set the mobile arm of the lift swinging and it swung the point of one end into my forehead. No real harm done, no stars or birdies; just a cartoon egg that popped up almost instantaneously, like in “Popeye.” Nothing compared to the awful sundowner meltdown J had last night — agitated, paranoid, defying reality and me as its two-timing agent until, after two hours or more, he finally wore himself out. Not a trace of that today. What’s a little bump on the head?
“Make sure it doesn’t hit you again right on the same place,” J said as I worked to get him strapped to the lift and up off the floor.
“No, I’m going to make sure it hits me on the other side this time so I look like I’m growing two horns,” I said.
I pumped J up off the floor and got him on the wheelchair and we went off to get summer haircuts at Great Clips.
UPDATE: The inevitable shiner, and worse:
Ambiance 
Randy said,
June 30, 2009 at 9:06 am
That looks awful. And painful. How are you feeling this morning?
amba12 said,
June 30, 2009 at 10:14 am
Perfectly fine, except for a superficially sore forehead. It never did hurt much, just did that comic-book egg thing. Next: colors. Kind of a freak accident, good for some drama-queen mileage if I wanted to play it that way. :)
PatHMV said,
June 30, 2009 at 11:41 am
Ouch! Just make sure no do-gooder social worker type spots you with that, or they’ll have the state bureaucracy inserting itself into your lives in a major way before you can say “Huck Finn.”
Donna B. said,
June 30, 2009 at 11:44 am
It’s going to be much “prettier” in a day or so. :-(
Ron said,
June 30, 2009 at 11:47 am
[Austin Powers voice] If you got a matching lump, would that make you horny, baby? All signs point to “Yes!”
amba12 said,
June 30, 2009 at 11:54 am
Pat: Hmmm, wonder if that’s why they call ’em “bangs.” Heh.
Donna: I know, it’s already sacrificing height for hue. Might even get a black eye out of it! Pity party!
Ron: horny like a unicorn. Associated with virgins. (I once interviewed some hippies in Mendocino who’d recreated the unicorn by fusing the “horn buds” of baby goats. I was thinking “horn buds” yesterday.)
PatHMV said,
June 30, 2009 at 12:33 pm
Hmmm…. I like that explanation better than the real one. Let’s start an urban mythical etymology!
amba12 said,
June 30, 2009 at 12:48 pm
“One of the earliest written examples of this expanded sense of ‘bang’ refers to slamming a door, an apparently universal human action which may yet prove to be as great an instrument of self- expression as the typewriter.” That’s good!
http://www.word-detective.com/
Ron said,
June 30, 2009 at 3:39 pm
“horn buds” sounds like something you’d smoke that would make the pork tenderloin in the market look very, very fetching…
karen said,
July 5, 2009 at 1:33 pm
My initial reaction to the photo is tears– w/my hand over my mouth. Lord.
Then, of course, the comments… i feel like i’m losing it between the sniffles and the laughs.
… and amazed that you have so many new posts. I like Anchoress’ take on Palin today much better than anyone else’s so far(a wayward ~’~?) Oh well- i gotta go. I’m finally getting over the loss of Ambivablog– i miss a few faces, though. Real? Either that, or you’ve managed to turn this into Ambiva 2!! Love you– please, be careful?
Give J a hug for me- what a card.